From regular meetings to important conversations, there are a number of things you and your partner can do together to build a solid foundation for your relationship. But it’s also important to take note of the things you’re not sharing, as doing some activities separately can spell trouble for your future. In fact, a new study has found that you and your partner not doing anything together could be ruining your relationship. Read on to find out if this is an issue you need to fix.
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When it comes to doing household chores, most couples believe that it’s important to share chores fairly — even if that’s not what ends up happening. Roborocks, a home robotics company, commissioned a survey in February 2022 in which it surveyed 2,000 American adults who live with a significant other to get an idea of how people feel about sharing household chores.
According to the survey, 53 percent of respondents said they consider equal responsibilities to be as important to the health of their relationship as their sex life. And 50% said not helping with chores is just as bad — or even worse — than cheating on your partner. But when it comes down to it, not everyone is putting their money where their mouth is. Only 9% of respondents said their partner always completes the division of chores, while 34% of couples said they believe their partner purposely mishandled chores to avoid having to do them in the future.
You might want to rethink the idea of splitting tasks completely, as it turns out – even if you’re splitting them 50/50. A new study published April 27 in the journal Sex Roles has found that sharing household chores can be far more important in a relationship than sharing those chores. Study author Daniel Carlson, PhD, an associate professor in the Department of Family and Consumer Studies at the University of Utah, analyzed the 1990s National Survey of U.S. Households and Families and the 2006 Marriage and Relationship Survey and found trends. related to the division of domestic work and relationship satisfaction.
According to the study, the number of equally shared tasks played a huge role in positive relationships. Couples who didn’t share any tasks — and instead each took on specific tasks — weren’t as satisfied with their relationship as couples who shared at least three tasks. “The number of equally shared tasks is very important to the quality of men’s and women’s relationships,” Carlson wrote in an abstract for the study. “Indeed, among recent cohorts, there is evidence to suggest that this matters as much, if not more, than each partner’s overall proportion of housework.”
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In an interview with Time magazine, Carlson said that one of the “biggest predictors of satisfaction” in a relationship is the sense of fairness that both people have. “Of those who were equally sharing all tasks, 99% reported that their relationship was fair,” he noted. “Those who had 50/50 housework but didn’t share any chores? Only half of them thought their relationship was fair.”
The difference in perceived fairness of sharing versus sharing tasks is largely a result of how burdensome or enjoyable people find certain tasks. “Some are nicer than others. Some are more isolating than others. If I’m going shopping, getting out of the house, interacting with people, potentially, rather than getting down on my knees, cleaning the bathroom,” Carlson explained. .
So even if the two of you spend the same amount of time on household chores or complete the same amount of chores, the division may not seem fair. “I can take the three easy ones, the funniest ones, and you can take the three hardest ones. So even though we’re breaking things down on the surface, when it comes down to it, these tasks aren’t equivalent,” Carlson told Time. In his summary, he wrote that “sharing all tasks equally eliminates these sources of resentment or misunderstanding, ensuring that each partner feels their arrangement is fair and satisfying.”
However, it’s not just about what you or your partner think is fair. Carlson also told Time that sharing household chores also helps couples with a sense of collaboration and togetherness in a relationship — even if they aren’t actually doing the chores at the same time. According to Carlson, complementary analyzes of his found that couples who share tasks tend to have better communication skills.
“I could do the laundry on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you could do the laundry on Mondays and Wednesdays, but that takes coordination. That takes communication,” he said. “Good, high-quality relationships are built on good communication between partners, a sense of togetherness and mutual decision-making.”
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